


Coming Home

by Justadeangirl67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Dean Winchester, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Past Relationship(s), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2018-12-18 17:15:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11879121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justadeangirl67/pseuds/Justadeangirl67
Summary: Just read it and find out. :-)Idea came to me from the song Greatest Love Story by LANCO.***ON HIATUS*** At least until I get some inspiration for this particular story but if you want more domestic Dean go check out my newest fic, Remember Me.





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed some domestic happy Dean guys. Season 12 finale has my feels on overload. But you can't have Dean without a little angst.
> 
> On a 16 hour road trip today so probably will get out a few chapters. Posting from my phone. I'll adjust and edit once I get back to my computer. 
> 
> Comments/feedback welcome!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming home is sometimes the hardest thing you have to do. Especially when you have spent four years of your life avoiding it.

"As much as I love you Cas I called to talk about tomorrow not bees." Emerson sighed heavily into the phone that was wedged between her ear and shoulder. 

"Right. Sorry." Cas clears his throat. "What time do you need me to pick you up?"

"Um, well my bus gets in at two..." She huffs, obviously struggling with something. 

"Two it is." He can hear the zipper on her suitcase and some mumbled cursing through the line. "You all packed?" 

She sighs and flops back on her nearly naked twin bed. "Yeah, everything but my pillow and blanket. My college career is officially over." She sighs. "Listen. Tomorrow can we avoid the shop and take the long way? I just... I can't..." The lump in her throat prevented her from saying more, but her brother didn't need anymore explanation. 

"Don't worry. I don't go that way anyway. I do all I can to avoid that piece of-" He was cut off before he could finish. 

"Cas? Can we just... not. Okay? I'd rather forget he ever existed." 

"You're not the only one." The anger was still showing up loud and clear in his voice. She couldn't blame him. He lost Dean too. He had always been over protective of her, but she still felt bad about costing him his best friend. They did everything together. At one point if Dean wasn't with her he was with Cas and Sam. They had been best friends since they were in pre-school, but that was over. Cas couldn't even stand to talk about him, let alone look at him. In all fairness she couldn't either. Four years was not enough time to heal. Cas's voice brought her back to their conversation. 

"If it makes you feel better his Baby..." She didn't miss the sarcastic tone in his voice. A small smile formed on her lips, imagining the pleased look her brother was wearing as he went on. "...got a flat tire the other day and I'm pretty sure the rim was bent. Saw him cursing outside the Hess when I was getting gas. Looked like he was going to pass out, pacing back and forth, rubbing his hand on the side of the car." 

Emerson couldn't help but let out a loud chuckle. "Oh, God I miss you." She sighs as her laughter calms down. "I better get to bed. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you." 

"Love you too sis." She tosses the phone on the bed and stares up at her ceiling. Tomorrow was going to suck.

Plain and simple. 

That town had traces of _them_ all over. Traces of _him_. Everywhere. It's not like she could avoid him forever. His parents live across the street from hers and he worked at the biggest auto shop for thirty miles. Their first kiss happened in her backyard, on the porch swing for crying out loud! Their first date was at The Roadhouse. Plus she still loved the rest of his family and there was no way Mary would let her go without coming by for dinner once she saw her. She was a very hard woman to say no to. 

The thought of being in his house again made her queasy. Maybe she could avoid them. Just stay locked in the house. Not leave and hide. After all, she was only going to stay home until she found a paper to call home. She was hoping for New York, but she would take anything to get away from him. 

She just had to get home, find a job and then she was gone. She was not staying in that town a second longer than she had to. He didn't want her in that town anymore than she wanted to be there.

She glances at the clock on the wall. 

_11:29 pm._

She closes her eyes and tries to block out tomorrow. Willing herself to not dream of him tonight, but all she could see as she slowly drifted off to sleep were bright green eyes and freckles. Tomorrow was going to be a long,long day. 

 

The bus ride was fairly uneventful. Lots of fields. Lots of music. Lots of painful memories. Just an average day. She pulls her ear buds out as she saw the bus station coming into view. Four years was a long time to go without coming home, but to be honest this place hadn't felt like home since Dean. 

After all that time gone she was home and it just felt empty. It felt like she was stepping into someone else's life, like she was in an alternate universe and this was her alter ego's life that she had no connection to. Maybe that would make the next few months easier, help put some distance between her and...this place. As the bus came to a stop she starts to gather her purse and the one bag she didn't have shipped back to her parents.

She glances around the bus depot, looking for her twin. It was almost impossible to tell who was who with the crowds of people getting off the buses and the people waiting to pick up their friends and family. Her eyes scanned the crowd and stopped suddenly. How could she have forgotten?

Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes burned with tears as her bus began to unload. Four years and no one painted over it. She thought she could at least go a day before the memories started but the universe had other plans. There it was. Right in her face. Just sitting there in a black Sharpie, D.W. + E. N., on an old bench. Mocking her. She closed her eyes, in a failed effort to push the memory away.

_Dean squeezed her hand gently, dragging her along the sidewalk, in front of a long line of buses. "Come on, babe. Keep up!" He grinned over his shoulder at her small frame trying to keep up with his long strides._

_"I am trying to! I have little legs, Dean!" She picked up her pace, skipping a bit to keep up with him. "What are we doing? I have to get to my bus. You know, in the other direction." She motions to the line of buses behind them._

_"I think the University of Kansas can wait another five minutes." He smiled at her, making her insides melt. "Maybe, but the bus won't Dean."_

_He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Then I'll drive you there myself. Road trip in Baby is better than that smelly bus anyway." He stopped abruptly near a wooden bench and pulled out a Sharpie out of the pocket of his leather jacket. He stepped in front of her and blocked her from seeing what he was doing and began to write something on the bench, never dropping her hand. She had always liked that. He always kept a hand on her or made sure she knew he was there next to her._

_"Babe! What are you doing!? I am pretty sure that is against the rules...or breaking some kind of law. Maybe Graffiti?" He chuckled and looked up at her wide, nervous eyes. "I think it will be okay. No one will know who did it."_

_Dean pulled back, placing the marker in her bag. "There. Now it will be the first thing you see when you come home. Besides my handsome face of course." She rolled her eyes and shifted her gaze to their initials, beaming. Despite being gruff with everyone else he was always sweet when it came to her. She turned back to him, sarcasm lacing her voice as she spoke."Oh, sure. No one in THIS town will ever guess who D.W. + E.N. is._

_He threw his head back in laughter and tugged her into his side. "Relax. I'll take all the heat from the Five-O, okay?" Seeming content with his response, she nodded and leaned against him. "Despite breaking the law, it was a sweet gesture." She leaned up on her tip toes and kissed his cheek._

_"You know, in case, you forget me." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly with his free hand. She shook her head, grinning from ear to ear. "Come on handsome." She pulled him back towards the line of waiting buses. "Like I could forget the one and only Dean Winchester."_

_Slinging his arm over his shoulder he grinned at her, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek._

Nothing had changed in their sleepy little town. The town was still the same, the people haven't changed and the memories we're still and they were still just as painful as the last time she was here. 

Just. Fantastic. 

"Emerson Marie Novak get your ass out here!" The sound of her brother yelling pulled her from her thoughts and what she saw when her eyes finally opened made her burst out laughing. There he was. In all his nerdy glory. A tall, goofy, blue eyed boy holding a makeshift sign made out of a ripped McDonald's bag? "Here for my obnoxious twin sister. She loves bees. Just ask."

She was off the bus as fast as her feet would take her. Cas barely had time to drop the sign and catch her before she was jumping into his arms. "Hey sis." 

"Hey." She let out a heavy breath she didn't know she was holding, finding comfort in her brother. At least this one good thing didn't change. He smelled like honey and home. She had missed that. Sure he came to visit and was there for her graduation ceremony only a few weeks before, but this was different. 

She sighs. "You know I don't want to hear about bees on the drive right?" Cas laughs. "Are you sure?" He slowly let's go of her, letting her drop back onto her feet and ignoring the pout on her face. 

"I'll save it for after dinner." He grabs her bag she had dropped when she flung herself at him. "Just the one?" She nods and links her arm in his. "So I see nothing has changed." 

Cas shakes his head. "No, not in this town. It's just as you left it." She glances at her initials as they walked by the bench, mumbling "Great. Just great." 

He gives her hand a squeeze. "Come on. It's not that bad. If you want we can drive by and egg his car." 

She laughs. "Maybe tomorrow. I'd like to be home at least twenty-four hours before we start breaking the law." He grins and tosses her bag into the back of his beat up car. " I waited four years. I can wait another thirty-six hours or so." 

She furrows her brow at the state of his car, ignoring his joke completely. It didn't look this bad the last time she saw it. Paint was chipping, there was a bit of smoke still coming out of the hood and it looked like some rope was holding the hood down, but she couldn't tell without walking to the front of the car.

"Looks like you need a tune up." She climbs into the front seat, wincing at the creaking noise the doors made as they opened and closed.

Cas pulls the driver's door open, slipping into the front. He glances at her from the drivers seat, slamming the door. "Yeah, well, the mechanic in this town is an untrustworthy shit." 

"Cas, its been four years. You don't need to keep hating him. It was a long time ag-" He holds up his hand to stop her, pulling out of the parking lot with one hand on the wheel and eyes on the road. He really didn't want to see the pained look on her face. It would only pissed him off more. 

"Don't." He grips the wheel, his knuckles turning white from his grip. "Don't defend him. Not after everything he did to you. I warned him before he started dating you. This was it. He would be in it for the long haul or not be in at all. You weren't going to be one of the many." He glances at her and then back at the road. "He didn't just break your trust Emmy." She grabs his hand and squeezes it firmly. Turning her attention back to the window, letting the topic drop. It was best if they didn't talk about him. 

Cas was the only person who knew what happened. If he hadn't been there to pick her up that night she's not even sure if she would have told him, but she didn't have much of a choice. She didn't have a car, it was two in the morning and she was home on spring break for Sam's birthday. So, he had been there to pick her up as she cried in the rain, in front of Dean's apartment. It took him the entire night before she finally broke down and told him everything. She had never seen him so mad. That was one of the worst nights of her life. Hearing Dean say he didn't love her anymore was a pain she never felt before, but then finding out he slept with Lisa Braeden on top of it, broke whatever part of her that was left. He destroyed the girl she was that night. 

If she could go back, she would erase Dean Winchester from her life. But no matter how badly she wants to do that. It's just not that easy. "Just the summer." She whispered to herself. "Just two months and I'm gone." 

This was going to be the longest two months of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the rights to Supernatural or the characters.


	2. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has to come face to face with one of biggest mistakes of his life.

God was it hot. 

Dean couldn't remember the last time it was this hot in the middle of May. He raised the hem of his grease covered white shirt and wiped the sweat from his face, smearing a bit of grease on his forehead. 

"Hey Bobby, I'm gonna call it quits." He calls out into the shop not sure where Bobby had gotten to. "You need anything before I go?" 

A gruff voice came out from under a beat up Volvo in the back of the shop. "Nah, you're good boy. Just make sure you actually go to dinner at your parents tonight. Sam's home this weekend and you've been avoiding your parents." 

Dean sighs as he wipes his hands on a grease covered rag. Bobby wasn't entirely wrong. He wasn't avoiding his parents, just their house and the neighbors. A few weeks ago his mom had mentioned something about hearing Emerson moving back home and he knew it would be a good idea to avoid her. So he had just kept his distance from his childhood home. He told himself it was for her. So she didn't have to see him, but truthfully he just didn't want to face her. He didn't want to face what he did to her. What he did to the both of them. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'll swing by. Alright old man?" He kicks the side of Bobby's boot that was sticking out from under the car as he heads back towards the office, grabbing his keys. 

"Old man my ass. Before you know it you're gonna be me boy. You ain't far off." He grumbles from under the car. 

Dean laughs as he punches out and makes his way back into the garage. "See ya Monday Bobby." He grins at old man's arm waving him off from under the car, heading towards the parking lot. 

"There's my girl." He mumbles as he slips into the front seat of the Impala, he pulls his phone from his back pocket, wiping the sweat off of it. It was just now five. If he went over now he could be done with dinner by six and hopefully miss seeing her at all. If she was even back. Or he could just skip dinner and meet for Sam lunch tomorrow. Some where away from the house. Some where she hates, like barbecue. She would never willing eat at a barbecue place. 

He did a quick glance through his messages. Most were from his mom about having burgers for dinner, not being late, don't make her send Sam to kick his ass, yada, yada. A few from his dad about the shop but the one that stood out was from Sam. He felt like someone just kicked him in the gut and all air got knocked out of him. He couldn't hear the radio over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. 

_Sam: I got in this morning. Mom made apple pie for tonight. Saw Cas pull up with Emmy around 3. She looks good. Thought you would want to know._

"Son-of-a-bitch." He slides down in his seat and hits Sam's number. No freaking way he could do this now. He wasn't going over there. No way in hell. Three rings in and his Baby brother's voice rang in his ears.

"Hey. Where are you at? Mom is asking for you." 

"Yeah about that Sammy... I don't think-" 

"No Dean. Get your ass over here." Dean could hear him moving and shuffling the phone around. He must have been walking away from their mom. "Mom said you haven't been home in weeks. Ever since she brought up Emerson coming home. I don't know what happened there but you need to man up Dean and stop punishing mom." 

"Sam. It's not that simple. I don't want to-" 

"You don't want to run into her. I get it but it's been four years." 

"Will you let me freaking talk man?!" He sighs. "No I don't want to run into her. I managed to avoid it for four years I plan on making it at least another four years, but I don't want her to see me and get upset, okay?" It was for her. Not for him. He was fine. He would be just fine.

"Well tough. I'm only here for the weekend Dean. Maybe it would be good if you came and talked to her. Clear the air. Then maybe you would stop drowning yourself in a bottle of whiskey every night." That was unlikely and they both knew that. 

He groaned. "Sam..." He lets out an exaggerated sigh. "You're freaking killing me." He sits up and starts to pull out of the shop. "I'll be there in twenty but I'm not staying long and mom better not try to pull that matchmaker crap. Trust me when I say she wants nothing to do with me."

"Whatever you say Dean." 

"Sam! I'm serious! Stay out of it."

Sam sighs. "Alright, alright. See you in twenty." 

"Bitch." 

"Jerk." 

Dean tosses his phone in the seat next to him and heads back behind the shop, the back way to his parents. This way he would at least pull up on the side street away from the Novak's front door and out of her sight. 

It only took him ten minutes to make it to his parents. Of course today there was no traffic. No traffic to keep him from his untimely demise. Still, he pulled up and just sat in his car. He sat in the car for another fifteen trying to talk himself into going inside. He catches a glimpse of himself in the rear view mirror and shakes his head. "Stop being a bitch Dean. Get out of the car." He runs a hand over his face, turning the engine off and forces himself out of the car. 

He makes his way up the stone path to the door on the side of John and Mary's house, mumbling to himself, " This was a terrible idea."

That's when he hears it. That laugh. It stops him dead in his tracks. He could barely breathe, barely think. 

It wasn't the same. It was forced and had a twinge of bitterness. Probably from being around his family. That couldn't have been easy for her. He couldn't do this. He needed to get back in the car and get the hell out of here. If he went in there he would have to talk to her, see her and finally face the mistakes he made four years ago. But there he stood. He couldn't move. His legs were completely frozen. 

Freaking Sam. Can't mind his own business. Just for once. He needed to get out of there before it was too late. Before he made things worse than they already were and his family found out what he did to her. 

It was too late. He didn't move quick enough and there she was,standing in front of him. She looked the same. Long, black curls, piercing blue eyes that stand out against her pale skin, and that smile. That freaking beautiful smile. She was just as beautiful as the last time he saw her. 

Shit. 

He shouldnt have come. Their long awkward silence was intetupted by Sam clearing his throat behind her. 

Finally coming to his senses, Dean takes a step forward, finding his voice. 

"Hey Em."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I don't own the rights to Supernatural or any of the characters. It's just for fun.


	3. Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally tells Sam what really happened with Emerson.

"Hey Dean." Emerson manages to whisper. 

_Hey. Em. Hey Em!_

Of course he would come back and be as smooth as ever. Just go back to normal like nothing ever happened between them. Well, for him it was nothing. It just a small, unimportant point in his life. So naturally, he could just slip right back into old habits, old nicknames like it was nothing, but to her it was everything. 

Ugh! He looked perfect, too. Stupid tight jeans, stupid white v-neck t-shirt! Stupid Dean. Even with grease smeared on his face he was still gorgeous. God, how did he do that? It was completely unfair. Despite everything he could still take her breathe away.

He seemed unaffected as usual. A little shocked maybe, but otherwise fine. If he could act like they were nothing than so could she. How hard could it be? He seems to be managing just fine without her. If only she could see how well he handle things when he was alone and didn't have a show to put on for anyone.

She glances back at Mary and John. "Thank you for invite and for promising to fix Cas's car. He insisted on taking it to get takeout" She rolls her eyes, forcing a smile. "but I'll bring it by this week." 

John nods with a sympathetic smile. Great. Everyone felt awkward because she was there. "I'll see you then sweetheart. If I'm not there Bobby will handle it." He knew better than to suggest that Dean would be anywhere near her, Cas, or the car.

She nods as she steps outside and looks up at Dean. She had forgotten just how tiny she was compared to him and how hard it was to think when he was near her. He always did that to her. He always got her heart pounding and her thoughts scattered. The only man that's ever been able to completely make her lose herself. That hadn't changed. "See ya around Dean." 

"Yeah... see ya Em." He wanted to reach out and touch her, run his hands through her curls, kiss those pretty lips, even if it was only one more time. He didn't move though. Just kept his arms locked to his side as he watched her walk back to her house. 

She walked as fast as she could without making it noticeable, whispering a silent prayer that he wouldn't follow. It was taking everything she had to hold it together until she got home. She spent four years trying to get over him and it only took two words and all she had worked for was gone. The wounds were just as fresh as the day she left. The second she was inside and the door was closed, she sunk down to her knees and let herself fall apart in the empty house. There was no way she could do this. She needed to get the hell out of this town before it completely destroys her. 

 

Dean turned and pointed at Sam, glaring. Sam hands shot up defensively. "I didn't do it! Dad brought her in." He points to John, standing in the kitchen. "I heard you loud and clear, but our parents don't always listen." Dean pushes past his smug looking brother and tosses his keys on the counter. He was pissed. They all knew he didn't want to see her. It had been made that pretty clear over the past few years. Every time his mother brought her up Dean would shut it down immediately. 

"So anyone gonna explain why my ex-girlfriend was in my parents house?" Dean glances between the three of them. 

Mary sighs and closes the side door off the kitchen. "Sweetheart just because you broke up with her doesn't mean we did."

Sam smirked but quickly wiped the smirk from his face once he caught sight of the bitch face Dean was giving him. He looks back at his Mary and throws up his hands. "Still doesn't explain why she was here when we are having a _family_ dinner."

She kisses his cheek as she walks by, setting back to work on the salad she had started on the counter."I saw her talking to Cas out front when I got home and went over. Your dad came over when he came looking for me and she mentioned Cas's car and about bringing it by. That's all. No one was pulling one over on you honey." 

John grabs a beer from the fridge and hands one out for Dean to take. "Cas won't come to the garage apparently. She wouldn't say why but I imagine it has to do with you. Know anything about that?" 

He takes the bottle and twist the cap off, shrugging. "No idea. Maybe he feels weird because we don't talk anymore." He kept his face as neutral as he could. He knew why. Cas made sure he knew.

He closed his eyes and took a sip of his beer, Cas's words ringing in his ears like he just heard them yesterday. _I should have known you were full of shit. The only reason I'm not beating your ass into the ground is because I promised Em and I figured one of us should keep our promises. Stay away from my sister and stay away from me."_

John and Mary share a look. "Hm." John sighs and hands over a plate of burger patties to Sam. "Get these on the grill. I gotta give Bobby a call about Cas's car." He kisses Mary's cheek on his way upstairs, yelling back down to Dean. "And wash up before we eat grease monkey." 

Dean rolls his eyes and nods towards Sam, heading towards the deck outside. "Come on Sammy. Come tell me all about school and that pretty girl of yours. What's her name? Jess?" He would talk about almost anything to avoid talking about Em anymore.

"It's Sam." He sighs and follows Dean out back. " and Jess is fine. I'm bringing her home for Christmas I think." He sets the plate next to Dean on the grill. "We're not talking about school or Jess. We're talking about what just happened in there. Because that tension wasn't a 'normal we just grew apart' breakup like you said." 

"Nothing to tell. It was four years ago. I ended it. She moved on. Let it go, Sam." He starts the grill, keeping his eyes focused on what he was doing, avoiding Sam's gaze. He had told Sam and his parents that they just grew apart while she was off to school, didn't talk as much, and just didn't feel the same. They tried to make it work but they both felt it was time to move on and move past high school. John never spoke about it, but Dean knew he was disappointed. He had always told Dean that Em reminded him of Mary. Mary was, and still is, disappointed, but she knew her son enough to know not to bring it up with him. Sam, however; never let the shit drop. Always bringing it up and trying to get him to talk about what happened. 

"Dude. Seriously?" Sam leans against the deck railing, watching Dean avoiding his gaze. "There's no way you dumped her. I saw you that weekend. You were head over heels for that girl." He smirks. "Hell, still are." 

Dean shakes his head. "Yeah, well, you don't know everything Sam." He flips the patties from the plate to the grill, standing there in silence while the burgers cook. Maybe it was finally time. At least it would get Sam off his back. He flips the burgers over and walks over to lean on the railing next to Sam, sighing. "She was off to college. Actually doing something with her life and I was here. I'm me." He gestures to the grease covering him, finally rubbing the smear on his forehead off with a clean spot from his shirt. "I am this town, Sam. This is all I am. I'm not going off to become a lawyer," He waves off the guilt ridden look Sam was giving him." And I'm fine with that. I really am, but she's so much more than this place, than me." 

Sam shakes his head and looks out into the backyard. "So you left her because she's too good for You? Great move dummy." 

He shifts uncomfortably, looking almost pained. "It's more than that." He picks at the label on the beer bottle in his hand. "I, uh, I told her I didn't love her anymore and..." His jaw clenches. "Lisa had stayed over because she got to too drunk to drive after your Birthday party, remember that?" He could feel Sam straighten up. He knew Sam was pissed without even looking at him and if he was being honest he couldn't take the look Sam was giving him, so he his stayed glued to his beer as he went on. " And you know Em doesn't party. Once things got a little crazy she left to hang out with Cas before she had to go back to school. After you passed out in my bed, I think it was around one in the morning, she came back and Lisa was passed out on the couch." He runs his hand down his face. "So I let her think we slept together. Figured if she hated me it would make it easier for her to move on." 

Dean glances at Sam, who looked like he was seconds away from giving him the world's worst ass beating. "You're an idiot you know that?" 

He laughs bitterly, "Yeah. Trust me I know, but she's happy and moved on." 

Sam snorts, shaking his head at his older brother, "If you think she's moved on you're a bigger idiot than I thought." Dean smirks, glancing out into the yard, "What makes you say that?"

Sam opens his mouth to speak just as John walks out onto the porch, interrupting before Sam could say anything. "You boys done with the girl talk? Let's get these burgers done and eat. Your mom is setting the table." 

"We're coming." Dean shakes his head and flips the patties on the clean plate John handed him. He follows behind Sam and glances at his watch, groaning. "So much for getting out of here by six." This was the first Friday night he wished he had stayed at work.


	4. Repercussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally home from traveling! Chapters should be longer after this week. Now that I am not working from my phone in the back seat of my car. Going to try for one chapter a week. Hopefully life allows. ;-) 
> 
>  
> 
> Chapters not fully edited.

How could she be so stupid? Why did she ever think coming back here would be a good idea? Why in God's name did she let herself get dragged over to his house. She's stupid. She has no self-preservation. Just full of stupid decisions. She should have stayed as far way from this town as she could get. 

She made her way to the living room couch, with a bottle of whiskey she had assumed was her father's. Not that it mattered at moment. She took a long sip, wincing at the burn it created on the way down her throat. She had never been one for drinking, but it seemed to be the way everyone else numbed their feelings and right now she would give just about anything to not feel. Why was this so freaking hard? It had been four years of no contact. Nothing. No calls. No text. Nothing. Not even a God damn cheesy Facebook invite. She should be able to walk right by him like he meant nothing. The sight of those green eyes shouldn't make her weak. His voice shouldn't cause her hands to tremble. Why? why did she have to still be in love with him? 

The past four years, she had spent all of her time and energy on getting over him. She had a double major, got a job in the book store, and even dated a bit. Anything to keep her mind busy. However; the dates were an attempt to prove to Cas, and maybe herself, she was over him. They were all fine. Cute, polite, some funny, but it never went past a second date. Sure, they were nice, but they had the same problem. It was always the same common denominator. None of them were _Dean._ No matter how hard she tried to like them she always found a way to compare them to Dean and they all ended the same way. She would make plans for a third date and only to cancel a day or two later, blaming it on wanting to focus on school. Same bullshit lie she told herself and Cas when he would ask. She had really tried to put Dean past her. Yet, here she was. Mascara tears running down her cheeks, half a bottle of whiskey down and she would still give anything to have him look at her the way he use to. 

Wiping the fallen tears with the back of her hand, she winced at the rustling sound coming from the kitchen door. Cas was home. The door creaked opened, followed by the sound of her brother's voice booming through the house.

"Hello, my beautiful sista. I got the pizza and I also found a feisty red head that missed you almost as much as I did." He calls through the house, winking at Charlie who stifled a laugh and spoke up. "Yeah, I missed that sweet ass." There was no response. Just silence. Cas frowns at the silence coming from the house, he glances at Charlie who shrugged. "This doesn't sound good." 

He walks into the living room only to stop dead in his tracks, eyes blown wide. "Em..." He breathed. This was the second time he has had to see her like this and it was just as painful as the first time. He shrugs his jacket off onto the floor in the hallway, quickly making his way over to the couch. "What happened Bumblebee?" He drops to his knees in front of her, brushing her hair out of her face. 

"He was there Cas." She looks at her brother through tear soaked lashes, seeing the concern on his face made her tears start up again. "Why did he have to show up? I could have made it two months if just stayed away from me. I just want to not miss him. Why can't I stop being in love with him Cas?" She screws her eyes shut, leaning her head forward into his chest, clutching his shirt with his free hand, breaking down into silent sobs. 

He takes a deep breath and taking a minute to calm himself down before speaking. His sister needed him. He manages to pry the half drank bottle of whiskey she was clutching from her hand and set it on the coffee table, stroking her hair as she sobbed into his shirt. "I don't Know Emmy. I don't know." 

"Here." Cas turned at the sound of Charlie's voice, seeing her standing there with a glass of water, aspirin and a wash cloth for her face. He thanked her silently and turned back to Emerson. "Emmy. I need you to sit up and try to drink this, okay?" He grabs her arms and helping her to fully sit up, placing the pills in her shaking hand. "Take them. You're going to need it after half a bottle of..." He tilts the bottle to see the label and whistles. "Yeah, you're going to regret that in the morning." 

"I don't care how I feel tomorrow." She sniffles as she downs the pills and half the glass of water, tucking her legs into her chest. "I just need to not feel, Cas. Just for a little bit. " 

He leans up and kisses her forehead. "I know." He scoops her up under her legs, letting her snuggle into his chest. 

"Let's just get you to bed. We can talk in the morning." He carries her up to her old bedroom and lays her on the bed, covering her with a blanket. "See you in the morning Bumblebee." By the time he got to the door and hit her light she was out cold. 

Emerson woke to a bright light shining on her face and pounding in her head like she never felt before. She didn't hurt as much as she expected. She was achy, a little nauseous and God, her head felt like someone was beating it with a small rubber hammer. She groaned and slowly sat up in her bed, glancing around the room. It only took one sweep to realize she was in her childhood room. She slowly swings her legs off the bed, noticing the note on the bedside table. 

_Take two and come down for breakfast._  
_Love you_  
_-Cas_

Cas was mad. He was only short with her when he was mad. She grabbed the bottle of water he left for her and downed the two pills, grabbing her sweatshirt she heads down to deal with the repercussions from last night. She slowly makes her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, slipping her sweatshirt on over her head. 

Charlie grins at her the scowl on her face, relaxing against the island in her Harry Potter Pajamas. "Well, if it isn't our very own Tyrion Lannister? How's the head after drowning in a bottle of booze?" 

Emerson makes her way around the island to the coffee pot next to the stove, only grunting in response. Cas hands her a cup of coffee, still silent as he mixes the pancake batter. His silence was saying more than enough. "Thank you." She whispers before walking back to the bar and collapsing her head against her folded arms, groaning. 

"That good I see." She did not miss the humor in Charlie's voice. "So, now that you're awake we can get the whole story. What did the devilishly handsome prick do?" 

They both jumped at the sound of Cas slamming the milk jug onto the counter. "Charlie." His voice was low and threatening, warning her not to continue, but Emerson waves him off. 

"It's fine Cas. He-" She sits up and slumps down in her chair, letting out a breath. "He was just...Dean." Charlie giving her a sympathetic smile as she continues. "His dad drug me over about Cas's car after he left and covered the street in white smoke and I was trying to leave and then..." She stops and stares into her coffee, trying to gather her words. "There he was. Just standing there. Looking incredible." 

"Yeah, he's a dick like that. It's kind of annoying how good he looks all the time." Charlie piped in, earning a glare from Cas. 

Emerson smirks and rambles on. "He just stood there. Watching me and then just said 'Hey, Em'." She looks between the two of them. "Hey. Like nothing happened. Like I was the girl that would come by and deliver his girl scouts cookies." She takes a sip of her coffee, closing her eyes. Cas leans in and kisses her forehead as she continues. "I don't know. It's my own fault. I shouldn't have gone over there. I just thought...I don't know what I thought." She shakes her head and glances up at Cas. "I don't need a lecture about last night, okay? I know It was stupid."

He stares at her for a few minutes before nodding. "You're just lucky mom and dad are out of town still. I'll replace the bottle before dad gets home." She gives him a grateful smile, looking back at Charlie. "What's on the agenda today?" Desperately just wanting to change the subject from her and Dean. 

"You mean besides plotting the death of your ex?" Emerson grins. "Right, besides that." 

Charlie shrugs. "I figured we could just hang. It's been a while since The Golden Trio got back together...." She watches Emerson for a moment, Debating about saying something more. Cas Turns his back and goes to work on the pancakes, he was distracted. The perfect chance for her to meddle. "You know he is miserable right? Been miserable since the day you left. I would know. I work with him forty hours a week. Just bitches and moans all around the shop." Emerson sits up a bit straighter, the thought made her heart flutter. Despite how hard she was trying to stop it, her heart was pounding against her chest. Cas turns around and open his mouth to say something, but Charlie glares at him. "She should know, Cas." 

"I should know what?" She glances between the two of them who seem to be having a silent conversation. She groans. "Oh my God! You. Guys. Tell. Me. WHAT?!" 

Charlie sighs and looks at her. "Look, I know the basics. I know he left you and it was his fault. Gathered that from crazy over here." She sticks her thumb towards Cas, who looked pissed. "But He was a complete wreck after you went back to school. I couldn't get him to talk about what happened or you." She scoffs. "Hell, he still won't talk about you. The second I bring you up he shuts down or drowns himself in whiskey. " She sighs. "All I am saying is, he is not as over it as you think and you two are my OTP, so I am going to need you two to sort this out." 

Dean wasn't over her. The thought was sobering. Where was this information last night, half a bottle in? Why was she excited by this? She all but hated him. It shouldn't matter and most certainly shouldn't make her heart race. She wanted nothing to do with him. She was done. There was no going back, not after all these years. 

She blinks a few times, pulling herself out of her thoughts and back to Cas's voice. 

"It doesn't matter if he isn't over her. He did it to himself. There's a difference between caring and feeling guilty. He probably just feels guilty because if everyone knew what he really did they would never forgive him. Including you, Charlie." 

Charlie opens her mouth to counter, but Cas playfully covers her mouth with his hand, smiling. "Let's drop it, firecracker. I am tired of seeing my sister cry over Dean Winchester. Let's focus on pancakes." 

Charlie holds up her hands in defeat and Emerson manages a small smile as she takes a sip of her coffee, listening to her brother and best friend bicker like an old married couple. This was her chance to get away. She quietly slips away from the kitchen while they fight over what's the better topping for pancakes. She didn't bother putting in her two cents, her thoughts were occupied. She heads into the hall bathroom, splashing water on her face. 

Did Dean still care or was it guilt? She knew Dean well enough to know he would never admit to either. There was no way he still loved her. He had four years to make it right and he never even tried to call. Even if he was upset over loosing her it was his choice! He pushed her away and there was no way she going to give him a second chance. He deserves to feel guilty. A She could ever trust him again. A second chance is absolutely out of the question. 

She grabs the towel by the sink and dries her face off, staring at herself in the mirror over the sink. "Who are you trying to fool?"

It was Dean, her Dean. She would let him break her heart over and over. That was exactly why she had to get out of this town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural or the characters. :-P


	5. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas finally have a heart to heart and it doesn't go the way either of them expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited! Just a warning. Pretty sure I am jumping from and past and current tense like no one's business. 
> 
> Woke up with this in my brain and wanted to get it out before I had to rush out for the day. Will edit and possibly add more this afternoon.

Four days had gone by since she last ran into Dean. She had spent most of it hiding in her parents house. She didn't want to chance running into Mary or Sam. She knew John well enough to know he would never bring up Dean or their break-up, but Mary and Sam? They were as bad as Charlie. She was suppose to take Cas's car down to Bobby's for a tune-up, but after seeing Dean on Friday she didn't have the stomach for it. She really didn't have the stomach to leave the house at all, but Cas was refusing to let her hide away and slip back into her darkness. 

Cas remembered the way things were when Dean left her the first time. She had missed a week of school before Cas drove her back to campus and stayed at school with her, in her dorm. He wouldn't leave her side until he knew she was okay. He put his own classes on hold, his own career, his life on hold to protect his sister. Charlie said it must have been a twin thing because there was no way she would do that. Emerson spent her time avoiding people, skipping class and became so depressed she would hardly eat unless Cas was forcing her. She spent months begging Cas to tell her why she wasn't good enough and to just tell her what Lisa had that she didn't. It hurt Cas more than he would ever admit. Thankfully, Christmas break rolled around and that picked her mood up, she had always loved Christmas. Before she knew it the pain in her chest wasn't as bad. She could go outside and not instantly hate the idea of talking to people. It took time but she healed, as best she could anyway, but Cas would never forget how deep her depression took her. It took a piece of her and she still hadn't gotten it back. He wasn't going to let that happen again. 

So, here she sat, in the passenger seat of her brother's beat up '78 Lincoln Continental Mark V, heading to The Roadhouse. Cas had been pushing food on her for every meal, making sure she wasn't missing meals again, so she wasn't surprised when he suggested getting lunch. She wasn't too excited about going to The Roadhouse, it held a lot of memories, but like Cas said, what in this town didn't? She couldn't really argue with him. The town wasn't that big and they had left their mark almost everywhere. It was hard to go anywhere without an aching pain in her chest. However; listening to her brother sing Taylor Swift at the top of his lungs helped to ease the pain. She turns her to gaze out the window, hiding her laughter. 

She really did love this town. Her parents, Rebecca and Chuck, grew up here, met in high school, married here, raised her and her brother here. Her whole life happened here. There were some good memories mixed in with the bad, like the first time Dean kissed her, or the way he blushed the first time he flirted with her. Yeah, there were some good memories.

"Shit, sorry. I forgot. Only road to The Roadhouse from home." She looks at Cas, confused as he nods towards her window. She turns her head back to the window just in time to see the auto shop and the Impala out front. The bad memories are always right there to ruin the moment. She slinks down in her seat and sighs, leaning her head back against the head rest. On second thought, she really hated this town. 

They stayed quiet for rest of the drive. No one really needed to say anything, they knew each other well enough to know what the other was thinking. She climbed out of the car and looked at Cas, "You know you don't have to do this, right? I am a big girl. I can make myself lunch and don't you have a career to get back to? You know photographing wildlife, or bees, and what not?" 

"I know you can make yourself lunch, but you won't because you're stubborn and work can wait. I told you I finished up my last big project before your graduation and came back home to spend some time with my favorite sister." He puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her into him. "Besides the sun will do you good and believe it or not, there are actually other people in the world besides me and Charlie!" 

His sarcastic tone makes her glare at him, "I know there are other people in the world smart ass. I just don't like them." She crosses her arms, grumbling, "and I hate the sun." Cas laughs as he opens the door. "Inside stubborn." 

She heads inside, Cas's hands on her shoulders, guiding her back to a booth in the corner. "There. All the way in the back. You don't even have to talk to me if you don't want." She nods. "Good I didn't want to talk to you. You cramp my style." She smiles. "I'm going to head to the bathroom. Cherry coke, cheeseburger and fries. Extra cheese." She walks back towards the bathroom and calls back to him. "Oh! Pie would be good, too!" 

Cas waves her off and slips into the booth, whispering. "Sometimes I forget how much you're like Dean." He scrolls through his phone, waiting for their waitress to come up, but the voice that radiates through his ears makes his blood run cold. 

"Hey, Castiel! I haven't seen you in forever. What can I get you?" He looks up at to see Lisa standing in front of their table, smiling. He groans and drops his phone on the table in aggravation. "You've got to be kidding me? " He glances up at the ceiling. God had to have a seriously bad sense of humor. "You've got to be joking?" 

Lisa shuffles her feet, slightly uncomfortably. "Um, are you okay?" 

His gaze moves back down to her and he shakes his head, wearing a sarcastic smile. "Are you really going to ask me that? You saw me come in here with my sister right? You know what happened with her and Dean and you honestly think it's a good idea to wait on our table?" His tone becoming gruff. "I mean when the hell did you start working here anyway? Where is Jo?" 

Lisa looked completely dumbfounded. "I...Castiel.." She deflates a bit. " I know her and Dean broke up, but I don't see what that really has to do with me. I mean I know I flirted with him a lot in high school, but I was a teenager." She slips her pad and pen in her apron, glancing to make sure Emerson wasn't coming. "Is this because I tried to date him after they broke up? Trust me it went no where. He wouldn't even look at me, let alone take me on a date. That boy has always been about Emerson and always will be." 

Cas ran his hand down his face. He didn't have time for this. Emerson would be back any minute and if she saw Lisa it wouldn't end well. He leaned in closer to her, trying to not embarrass her in front of the rest of the customers. "No, Lisa. This isn't about what you did after they broke up. It's about when you slept with him at Sam's party. You know, while they were still dating." 

She narrows her eyes at him, a mix between anger and shock on her face. "Are you fucking serious? I didn't sleep with Dean that night! I was the first one passed out that night. I slept on the couch, fully clothed, got up early and left before Dean was even awake. I don't know what she thinks happened but I could have been butt ass naked and Dean wouldn't have touched me." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Wait-" He shakes his head, trying to understand what she was saying. "What do you mean you didn't sleep with him? I dropped Emmy off at Dean's and she saw you on the couch and Dean..." His voice trailed off as realization hit him. "That piece of..." 

Lisa shakes her head, her own frustration growing. "No, we didn't sleep together. I was drunk, but I wasn't that drunk. I remember the whole night. I flirted, he told me to back off, said he loved Emmy and I passed out on the couch four shots later. Nothing happened. I've never stood a chance." Cas didn't miss the hint of longing her voice, but didn't comment on it now. He didn't have time. 

Cas pinches the bridge of his nose, this was giving him a migraine. "I, uh, I better get her out of here. Probably a good idea if she doesn't see you." He pushes past her and makes his way towards the bathrooms. He had no idea what the hell just happened, but he knew he was going to get some answers, that was for sure. Emmy came out of the bathroom, startled by Cas standing there, tear stained face. "Cas....this is the girls bathroom. Your bathroom is the other way." She sticks her thumb out towards the opposite hallway.

He sighs at the sight of her face, but rolls his eyes at her. He should tell her what Lisa said, but would she go running back to him? He knew the answer. She would run so fast he wouldn't have time to stop her and he wasn't sure he wanted that. "Let's get tacos. I don't know why I come here when Ellen isn't here. The burgers suck when she's not working." 

Emerson forces a smile and links arms with her brother. "Tacos sound amazing."

 

After lunch Cas had dropped Emerson off at their house, making some excuse about needing to pick up new film. He made sure to throw in a few bee facts to bore her and was able to successfully sneak out of the house without her. It wasn't too hard though, she didn't want to leave her bedroom anyway. So, he headed out to get some answers from the only person who could give them to him. 

It didn't take long and he was pulling up in front of Singer & Winchester Automotive, turning off his car, watching the white smoke billowing out from under the hood. He climbs out of the front seat and heads inside the garage, looking around for Dean. Ignoring Bobby and John's greeting. He was on a mission, not here for polite chit chat. He had never been good at it anyway. His eyes land on him in the back of the garage, near the office, laughing with charlie and he marches past John and Bobby without a word. 

Charlie nearly spits her beer out once she sees Cas standing behind Dean. "Damn Charlie. Say it. Don't spray it." Dean wipes the beer off his face.

'Hello Dean." Dean slowly turns to meet Cas's icy gaze and he gulps. This is the closest they have been in... a long time. "Uh, Hey, Cas. What, uh, what are you doing here?" 

Cas takes two long strides, getting inches away from Dean's face. He may be smaller than Dean, but it did not matter in this moment. He looked pissed and Charlie was pretty sure he was about to hulk out and beat Dean's ass. Instead he spoke in a even, albeit angry tone. "I'm going to cut to the chase. When you dumped my sister did you or did you not sleep with Lisa?" His voice was loud enough that Bobby and John lurking behind them heard every word.

Charlie scoffs and comes up to Dean's side to defend him, "Cas, you are way off. There is no way Dean slept with Lisa. After all this time he's still in love with Em for cripes sake!" She loved Emerson. They had been best friends since middle school, but she has a soft spot for Dean. He was like the big brother she never had. 

"Look, it was a long time ago. Can we just please for the love of God forget all this?" Dean glances at Charlie apologetically and she narrows her eyes. "Dean... You didn't? Not with Lisa..."

Dean turns to look at Cas, his eyes pleading for him to not do this right now. Not in front of Charlie and his dad, but he could tell Cas didn't care. He might have at one time, but not now. Not after everything he has done, so Cas presses on.

"Dean, I ran into Lisa today. She told me you two never slept together. That she remembers Sam's party and despite her best efforts you told her there was no way you could cheat on Emmy and she passed out on the couch, fully clothed." He starts to pace back and forth to control his anger. "Now, if I can recall correctly, you told my sister you slept with Lisa that night. You told her you didn't love her anymore. So which is it?" 

Charlie frowns in confusion and smacks Dean arm. "Dude! I was there that night. You didn't freaking sleep with Lisa." 

Bobby walks back to the three of them. "Boy, please tell me you did not sleep with that little cheerleader? What in God's name were you thinking?"

"That explains why you won't talk about her. Don't tell you mother. I don't want to hear about this for months on end." John shakes his head, his disappointment clear.

"Will everyone just shut up for a second!" Dean's voice silences all four of them. He looks at Cas as he gathers his thoughts."No, okay? No. I didn't sleep with Lisa. I told Em I did, so she would leave." He was tired of pretending and with all four of them attacking him he needed to clear the air. "I was drunk off my ass, feeling like the worthless son-of-a-bitch I am and I didn't want to keep dragging her down. She always way too good for my sorry ass. I told her it was over and she saw Lisa laying on my couch, asked if she was why we were over, if she was why I didn't love her anymore and I just..." He shrugs, looking down. "I just nodded, letting her think whatever she wanted to." Before Dean could process what was happening Cas's fist connected with his jaw, knocking him down. 

Charlie flinches and covers her mouth in surprise. "Damn Cas. What are you doing?" Bobby grabs John's arm and shakes his head. "No, Dean needs to settle this."

He leans over him, grabbing his shirt in his fist and yanks him up to meet his face. "And to think I almost told her to come talk to you. You're right. You don't deserve her." Cas hisses. He glances at Charlie as he drops dean's shirt. "Still wanna defend him?" He stands up and holds his hand to a confused Dean, who accepts it and stands to his feet. 

"As much as I hate it..." Cas hesitates, debating whether to continue. He finally sighs, "She's still in love with you." He grabs a beer from the cooler next to the desk and hands it to him for his jaw. Dean reaches his hand out slowly taking it from him, bringing it to rest against his jaw. "If you want a chance to fix this you better act now. She's moving to New York in two months." Dean felt his stomach drop about ten floors. Moving to New York? for good? He wanted to ask about a thousand questions, but he was already pushing his luck with Cas and he knew it. "I am not saying it will be easy. She may still love you, but she doesn't trust you and to be honest, neither do I." 

Dean shifts uncomfortably, crossing his arm over his chest. " I don't... I don't know what you want me to do, Cas." Cas huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. "Do I have to do everything for you two? She will be here tomorrow with my car. Make sure you're the one who works on it." He turns to walk back towards his car. "And Dean?" Dean looks up at him. "Don't mess this up because I won't pick her up off the floor again because of you. I won't do it." 

"I-" Dean nods and sinks down into the office chair, watching Cas walk off to his beat up Pimpmobile. Bobby and John had exchanged looks but never said a word, they just went back to work.

Charlie sits down at the desk, slightly giddy. "Oh, my OTP are going to get back together!! Dean and Emmy sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" She was swooning at the desk as she spun in her chair. "You're going to get married and do the whole domestic life baby thing I knew you had deep down in you. Just don't go all Dean and mess it up." 

Charlie was still rambling, but Dean had stopped listening a while ago. He was going to see Em tomorrow. He felt his chest warm at the thought and then the dread hit. This probably wasn't a good idea. He had pushed her away for a reason. She couldn't have the life she always wanted if he kept her stuck in his town with him. Besides New York might be good for her. He shudder at the thought. No way in Hell he was letting her go to New York. 

He glances at Charlie, rubbing the back of his neck. "Hey...Um Char, you sure she's still ....you know?" 

Charlie grins. "Oh, Winchester you are so clueless sometimes."


	6. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgiveness can start at the most unlikely of times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not super happy with this chapter. I was in a fluffy mood when I ended the last chapter and now I am feeling a bit trapped in fluff. I'll work my way back out and into some more angst here soon. However, I do enjoy fluffy Dean and after this chapter there will be a lot more Dean and Em chapters.

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

That was a God awful sound. Whoever heard that ear piercing sound and decided to put it in alarm clocks was on the top of Emerson's hit list. Emerson reaches out from under the blanket and slams her hand down to shut off the irritating buzz, groaning. "Why couldn't it be a nice bird chirping noise." She grumbles, peeking out at the time causing a much louder groan, throwing the blanket back over her eyes. 

_7:00 a.m._

Normally, she loves being up early. Growing up she was always the first person up, no matter the time she went to bed. There was always something she liked about being up before everyone else, while it was still dark. It was quiet and calm. Dean had always thought it was weird and would groan and complain about waiting to sleep in on the weekend, but he never did. She would call him at the butt crack of dawn, his words, and he would get up and come over. Then again once upon a time, Dean would have done just about anything she asked him to. He never could tell her no, no matter how unmanly it made him look. He talked a good game, but he just was a big softy when it came to her. 

That was probably the reason she wasn't too fond of this particular morning. Dean. She had to go see Dean. Why did she agree to do this today? Why did she agree to go to the place her ex-boyfriend, the love of her life works, all to take the car in for a dumb tune up. Oh, that's right her stupid brother. Even if Dean didn't work on the car he would be there and it's not like there's a lot of places for her to hide, it's just a garage after all. At least Charlie will be working in the office, she could hide in there with her

She kicks the blanket off of her and swings her legs off the side of the bed, glancing at her clothes still in boxes and bags all over the room, mumbling. "This was such a stupid idea." A loud, obnoxious banging came from her bedroom door, causing her to jump off the bed. "Bumblebee! Let's go. The appointment is at 9!" Cas bellows through the closed door. 

"I'm awake assbutt!" She growls back. The sound of Cas's laugh had her mood lighten a bit, even causing a small smile. Forcing herself off the bed, she walks to the door and slowly swings it open to see her brother smiling down at her. "Morning." He manages to hold back his laughter from the sight of her bedhead, "I am heading down to make coffee. Don't forget I have that thing. The work thing. On my computer. So I can't go with you. I have to be here and I can't leave. I'm sorry..." He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding her eyes contact. He rambled when he was nervous or feeling guilty.

"It's okay, Cas. I am the one that went over and talked to John to begin with." She offers him a small smile, knowing how guilty he felt. "Besides it would be best if you didn't go over there. I am not sure anyone would get anything done while you were punching Dean in the face." 

Cas tries to keep his face neutral, "Yeah, that would be, uh, that would be bad." He hadn't told her about anything that happened the day before and that included talking to Lisa. That was not his story to tell. If Dean hoped to gain her trust her back, he was going to have to work for it and that news should come from him. Besides, his plan only worked if Emerson stayed in the dark. For now at least. 

He kisses her forehead, "Get dressed and come downstairs." She nods and looks back at the piles of clothes on the floor, biting her lip. She has nothing to wear. Nothing that anyone would want to wear to go see their ex, who just happens to look amazing all the freaking time. 

"Wear your dark skinny jeans, that white v-neck, and those girly military boots you have." He walks in and digs through the box labeled shoes." The ones with that fold over, with the black and grey plaid." Of course, her twin could see every thought that was going through her mind. Normally she would be annoyed, but she needed his help. He pulls them out of the box and grins at her, tossing them by the bed. "He always liked when you went simple."

She stiffened and looked at him.. "Why would you care what he likes me in? You hate him remember? The whole 'let's egg his car, let me punch him, I'm going to kill him' thing you have been on for years now, remember that?" Cas walks over and grabs her shoulders, meeting her gaze. "Yeah, I remember. I won't ever forget what he did, but doesn't mean you can't make him miss what he doesn't have right?" He lets go of her shoulders and heads downstairs, calling back to her from the stairs. "Oh, and leave your hair down!" 

Emerson stood there completely baffled, "What just happened?" She looks at the boots he threw on her bed. It was almost like he was helping her get ready for a... date? She shakes it off, trying to get a grip and grabs the outfit Cas suggested, heading off to the shower. Even if Cas was being weird it would be nice to make Dean want her for a change. Yeah, little payback sounds pretty good this morning. 

 

She had followed Cas's advice and even left her thick curls down, despite it being unbelievably hot today and it wasn't even nine yet. She pulled up to the the shop, guiding her brother's hunk of junk into an empty spot. She was ten minutes early. 

"Great, don't try to look overly desperate, Em. Good job." She mutters under her breath as she climbs out of the car. Her eyes scan the small parking lot as she slowly walks towards the shop. "shit." There was only the Impala and Charlie's bike in the employee spaces. No Bobby. No John. Great. That meant a lot of talking to Dean. In complete sentences. Making him jealous from afar and talking to him were two totally different things and she wasn't sure she could do the latter. She could just get back in the car and go back home. Cas would never make her do this if she cried. Yeah, she could totally get out of this if she cried. 

"Stop being stupid. This is for Cas. The guy who does everything for you. Suck it up, Novak. " She forces her feet to keep moving as she walks into the garage and glances around looking for someone. It looked empty besides a '92 yellow Bug in the back of the shop with it's hood popped. She looks around, her eyes settling on the office window and there was Charlie digging under her desk for something.

"Thank God." She walks through the garage and steps into the office."Hey, so glad you're here. If I was alone with...." She looks over the desk to the person she saw hunched over through the window, who was now frozen in their spot and gulps. "You're not Charlie." 

Dean lifts his head from the box under the desk and shakes his head, "Uh, no. I was making coffee. Charlie ran to the bathroom." He tilts his head to the side, confusion filling his face and then dread. "Wait, you thought I was a small red-haired...woman?" 

She laughs and chews her bottom lip. She was nervous and Dean knew it. She always chewed her lip when she was nervous. "Well in all fairness I just saw the white shirt and I couldn't see your head...I assumed.." 

He nods, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I need to hit gym after work." 

They stand there in uncomfortable silence until Dean finally speaks. "I can take the keys for the Pimpmobile and get started." He nods towards the coffee pot, taking the keys she was holding out. "Fresh pot if you want any." He leans over the desk filling out some paperwork for Cas's car.

"Thanks." She walks over and pours a cup of coffee, frowning at the smell coming from her cup. She lifts the paper coffee cup to her lips and takes a small sip, that's when it hit her. "Did.." She turns and looks at him. "Did you put cinnamon in this?" 

Dean glances at her for a minute, his ears turning pink. He was embarrassed. Interesting. “Um, yeah. You still like it like that right? Black with cinnamon?” 

Emerson lips twist up into a small smile. “Yeah, yeah I still like that.” 

He nods, "Good. I just figured you- you would want some coffee. I mean you don't have to drink it, but if you want it, it's there." Charlie clears her throat from behind them, earning Dean's attention. 

"I'll, uh, get to work on the, the car, in the garage." He clears his throat and makes his way by Charlie, who was grinning at him stumbling all over himself. 

"Smooth, ladies man. Real smooth." Charlie whispers as he walks by her, earning herself a signature Dean Winchester bitch face and hushed, "Shut it." 

Emerson looks down at the coffee in her hand and then back out the window into the garage and back to the coffee. Clearing her throat she looks at Charlie, "I am going to just...I'm going to go out there and make sure he doesn't mess up Cas's car because you know how mad Cas would be." 

Charlie grins as she sits down in her chair. "Oh, yeah. sure. It's for Cas. No, I get it." Emerson glares at her as she walks out of the office and into the garage, whispering, "Shut it."

"They are both morons." Charlie sighs and kicks the office door closed, giving them privacy. 

Dean had just finished backing Cas's car into the garage when he see her. Confusion and something else she couldn't quite place the look on his face, he climbs out of the drivers seat. "Did you need something?" Nervousness. He was nervous.

"No, I just...I can go back into the office if you want. Charlie looked busy and I..." She looks down at the cup in her hand. _Real smooth, Em. You sound like idiot._

Dean clears his throat. "Well you could help me if you want to." Emerson shoulder sag with relief, making Dean grin. "Can you hop in and give a little pump to the gas?' She sets her cup down on the tool box next to the car and nods "Yeah, sure." She climbs into the drivers seat and starts up the engine, waiting for his okay to step on the gas. 

"Okay, just give a small pump to the gas. I want to see where the smoke starts from." He pulls the bungee cord from the hood, tosses it on the floor and lifts the hood. "Just slowly tap the gas though, don't shove your foot down, slowly push your foot down, Em." 

She rolls her eyes at him, "I know how to pump the gas, Dean." She slowly presses her foot to the gas, "There were many Saturdays I spent in the front seat of the Impala and watched you work on her for hours, remember?" She groans silently, leaning her forehead on the steering wheel. Why in the world was she bringing up their past? Why would she do that? 

The sound of Dean's laughter made her heart flutter, she lifts her head from the steering wheel. "Yeah, I remember. That's why I was giving you very specific instructions." Em peeks her head out of the drivers side and glares at him. 

He grins and walks around the front of the car, leaning over the engine. "Alright, cut her off." Emerson cuts the engine and climbs of the car, walking over to grab her coffee from the tool box. She notices a bunch of pictures under her cup as she picks it up. "All these yours?' She glances over her shoulder at Dean, who was elbow deep in the engine, already covered in grease. He looked uncomfortable. That was very unlike him. It's not like she didn't know everyone in his life. Oh God. Maybe he had a picture of some new girlfriend on there, or one of him and Lisa. The thought made her chest constrict, but she tried to not let it show on her face.

"Yeah, Dad's and Bobby's over there." He nods towards the other side of the shop where two other large tool boxes were set up. 

She nods and turns her attention back to the pictures. She needed to know. This could be the closure she needs. She runs her fingers over the rows of pictures. There were several, one of him and Sam, the two of them with their parents at Sam's graduation it looked like, and few with Bobby, but there was no girlfriend that she could see. Why was he being so weird about her looking at these pictures? Her eyes scanned the rest and she stopped, picking up one photo in particular. So, that's why he was being so weird. 

She looks back at him with her heart hammering against her chest, whispering. "You kept this?" He doesn't look up at her, his eyes staying focused on the engine, "Yeah, it's my favorite picture. The smile on your face..." He sighs, turning to meet her eyes. "I like how happy you look. That was a good day." 

"Yeah, it was." She runs her fingers over the picture, her thoughts drifting back to that day. 

  


_"Dean! Quit!" Emerson shrieked._

_Dean's wet arms were being wrapped around her waist from behind, he nuzzled his wet hair against her cheek._

_"Oh, sorry sweetheart. Did you not want to get wet?" He grinned at her._

_Narrowing her eyes, she lowered her voice in a failed attempt to sound menacing. "Oh, you're so gonna get it the second we're alone."_

_He stared at her for what seemed like ages before he leaned in and kissed her cheek, neither one of them noticing Sam was camera ready._

_They were too wrapped up in each other to notice anything going on around them. He ducked his head down next to hers, whispering something into her ear._

_She didn't move and she kept her eyes down, but her face split into an ear to ear grin. A bight flash caught both their attentions, bringing them back to reality. When they looked up there was 12 year old Sam, grinning with a disposable camera in hand._

_Dean growled, "Sam! I'm gonna freaking kill you!" Dean let go of Emerson and took off chasing after a giggling Sam._

  


That was a good day. One of the best days of her life. She clears her throat and sets the picture back down where she found it, "You told me you loved me that day." Dean slowly stands up straight like he was going to walk towards her. "Em.. I-I.." 

She quickly wipes the tear that had fallen down her cheek, stepping back from him. "I am going to, um, go back in there with Charlie, see if she needs help. Let me know when it's done and I'll get out of your way." Before Dean could object she was making her way back into the office. She closes the door behind her, leaning her head back against the door and closes her eyes. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Well I see things went well." Charlie glances at the time on the computer and back at her. "You lasted longer than I thought." 

She glares at Charlie and slumps in the chair next to the door, closing her eyes. "Go back to work Charlie."

 

She hid in Charlie's office for the next three hours while Dean worked in silence in the garage. He didn't even play music, which was strange for him. This was all too much. She couldn't just sit in there with him and pretend like she didn't still love him, like what they had meant nothing. They couldn't be just friends, not after what they had. Not after the coffee thing and finding the picture and the way he was looking her. She was stupid for thinking that they could ever be just friends.

Charlie sighs and turns her chair to face her. "Why don't you try hearing him out?" 

"Hearing him out on what? Why he ruined everything and apparently keeps a photo of me to pine over?" She leans forward, waiting for some reasoning on Charlie's end, but it never comes, Charlie just rolls her eyes. 

"You two are so frustrating. Go. Talk. To. Him." She waves her hand for her to leave her office. "Go, I am officially kicking you out of my office. I can't watch you sit there all depressed." 

She gets up and grabs her purse, crossing the strap over her body. "You're the worst best friend ever. I hate you so much." She walks back out into the garage and closes the door behind her, hearing a muffled, "You love me!" She groans and walks towards Cas's car, looking for Dean. She stops when she spots him at the sink on the far wall, washing the grease from his hands and arms.

Dean looks over at her. "Hey, perfect timing. I was about to come get you." He looks down at his hands as he wipes the remaining grease and water off his hands with a stained rag. "She's all fixed. Shouldn't get anymore white smoke and I fixed the hood, so no more bungee. However; Cas should probably bring her back because I noticed a few other things I'd like to look at when we're not crunched for time."

"That's good. I'd ask what was wrong, but you would lose me after five seconds." She offers up a small smile.

Deans grins and looks at her, tossing the rag on top of the tool box. "Em, I." He shifts back and forth on his feet. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened." 

She could feel her heart beat picking up and panic starting to set in. "No, Dean, it's okay. It was a long time ago. You don't owe me anything. I was stupid to think I would be with my high school boyfriend forever. That doesn't really happen in real life. This isn't one of my books." She was trying to laugh it off, hide how panicked she was, but Dean could see right through her. " I didn't come here expecting anything like that from you and you shouldn't feel guilty. We were just kids."

He walks over to her and stops, only a few inches from her reach. "Have dinner with me." 

"D-dean, I don't. I don't think that would be good. I mean...with Lisa and.." Without realizing it, she had taken several steps forward, standing almost toe to toe. 

"Lisa?" He shakes his head as Emerson looks down at their feet. _How did they get so close to each other?_ "Lisa doesn't matter. Never did." He wipes his sweaty, nervous palms on his jeans and cups her face, tilting her head to meet his eyes. They were rougher than she remembered, but they still turned her into putty. 

"Have dinner with me tonight. I get off at five. I can pick you up at six." His eyes searching her face for some kind of hint at what she was feeling, but all he could get was how nervous she was or maybe that was him. "Just to talk. I'm not expecting anything. I just need you to hear me out. Please Em." 

She lets out a breath whispering, "Okay." He slowly lets go of her face, grinning as she leans forward, chasing after his hands. 

"I really thought you were gonna say no." Despite trying to act calm, he still looked nervous. 

She rolls her eyes at his nervousness, "Like I have ever been able to say no to you, Dean." 

He grins and hands over her keys, "I'll remember that tonight." Her eyes widen, feeling her cheek starting to burn she turns quickly to hide her blushing cheeks, walking to Cas's car before she embarrasses herself more. 

"See you at six." He calls after her, grinning like a fool. 

"Yeah, six." She waves at him as she pulls out of the garage, finally letting out the breath she had been holding. _Holy shit._ She glances at her reflection in the rear-view mirror. "You just agreed to a date with your ex-boyfriend, dummy." 

Dean opens the door to the office to find Charlie leaning against the wall with a glass pressed to her ear and grinning, "Well, in case you were wondering these walls are very, very thin." Dean rolls his eyes and grabs the next set of keys off the desk. "I have to be out of here by five today." 

Charlie picks herself up off the floor. "Yeah, I heard. You've got a date." She winks at him, barely containing her excitement. 

He walks out of the office and towards the yellow bug in the back of the garage. "It's not a date, charlie! Just friends." 

"Sure, Dean. Just like I am 'just friends' all the times I have asked Jo out on a date. Probably should shower and wear that red flannel shirt, unbuttoned." He groans, palming his face. "That shirt on you is almost enough to make me straight." 

Dean shakes his head, yelling back towards the office "Charlie, I am trying to get some work done!" 

He places his hands on the car's frame and stares at the engine in front of him. "Shit." He mutters, "It's kind of a date." He runs his hand down his face. He hasn't been on a date with anyone he actually cared about since, well, since Em. He was screwed. There was no way he wasn't going to mess this up. 

"I can feel you watching me, Charlie." He sighs and waves her over. "Get over here and tell me how to not fuck this up." 

She prances over, grinning. "Okay, let's talk where you are taking her."


	7. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be real with you guys. This chapter is utter shit. I struggled to get this one out. I just wasn't feeling it and the hurricane left me without power for about 10 days, so I just wanted to get something posted. 
> 
> That being said, fluffy Dean does makes me swoon, but angst is coming back. You've been warned. Also mild smut warning (really just hinting at smut like I said wasn't feeling it) in this chapter, so if it ain't your thang skip that part. 
> 
> *Un-edited. I'll go back and edit all the chapters fully once it's complete.

By the time Emerson made it home she was having a complete meltdown in the driveway. What in the hell was she thinking? Agreeing to dinner with the person who can utterly destroy her in seconds? It's not like spending the night with the guy who ripped her heart out would end badly, right? This had to be one of the stupidest things she has every done in her life. Well, aside from deciding to come home and be closer than 500 miles away from him in the first freaking place. This was a mistake for the both of them. 

She slams the car door and storms into kitchen where Cas was drinking from the jug of milk, she throws his keys at his chest so hard he almost drops the jug in his hands as he tries to catch them. He groans from the sharp keys jabbing him in the chest, "I take it things did not go well with Dean and the car?"

Em smirks, "No, Cas. No, they didn't." She walks around the kitchen island, pacing back and forth. "Did you know he keeps a picture of me? He has a picture of us from that day at the lake. Junior year."

"Well, I mean you did spen-"She holds her hand up cutting him off before he can continue, glaring at him,"You know what's important about that day? He told me he loved me for the first time that day and that night..." She smirks, "Let's just say, I know first hand how well two people fit in the backseat of the Impala because of that night."

Cas frowns and holds up his hand to stop her this time, "Can we not talk about my sister having sex with my ex-best friend? I'd rather not." He sets the milk back in the fridge,"I am confused. Are you mad that he kept a picture of you or just because it's that picture?'

She stomps her feet, groaning, "I am mad that he thinks he can keep a picture of me and put cinnamon in my coffee and give that charming Winchester smile and then just ask me out like it's nothing!" She knew that she sounded like a child, but she couldn't help it. She was completely losing it. 

Cas furrows his brow and tilts his head to the side,"Wait...are you going on a date with him?"

His question made her stop in her tracks, she turns to look at him with her cheeks bright red,"That is not at all the point, Castiel! I may have agreed to talk to him, but the point is the cinnamon!"

He rolls his eyes at her outburst, "Yes, how dare he be considerate of the fact that you like cinnamon in your coffee and nostalgic over, lets face it, the best girl he is ever going to get to love him." He points to her current outfits, running his finger up and down, "You should change into that black little sundress I saw in your boxes this morning." Normally the fact that he had the kept a picture of his sister would have sent him into his tirade, but after his talk with Dean he wasn't feeling as angry. Betrayed? Yes. Mad? Yes, but not pissed.

She narrows her eyes, "What is going on? Why are you defending him? You hated him yesterday and now I am telling you he has my picture and is taking me out to eat and you're basically ready to call the florist and give me away."

"Look, I am not happy about this." Sighing, he softens his voice, "If it was up to me you would never see him again, but you're still in love with him-" He holds up his hand to stop the objection he knows is coming. "Honey, you still love him. You drank a bottle of whiskey over him, you're panicked over a photo he is keeping, and you agreed to go to dinner with him. If you weren't still in love with him you wouldn't have done any of that." He walks around and grabs her shoulder, giving her a gentle shake. "I think this will be good. You can either decide if you can forgive him and what that means for you both or you can finally put him behind you and move on. Whatever you decide I'll be here to help you figure it out."

He kisses her forehead and lets go of her, walking upstairs. "Oh, and did you ever think that maybe you're upset about the picture because it scares you?" He stops and looks back to find her glaring at him with her arms crossed over her chest causing him to grin.

She rolls her eyes, "Why would it scare me? Why would a stupid picture from years ago scare me?"

"Because Em, if he has that picture maybe that means he still loves you as much as you love him, and if he loves you as much as you love him, then maybe there's a chance you can work things out, but it would mean you taking a leap of faith and trusting him again. Trusting him scares you." He shrugs and continues up the stairs. "Something to think about."

"You're annoying when you're being insightful." She glances at the clock on the stove. No, this wasn't happening this way. She wasn't going to let it play out like this. She grabs his keys and yells back up to Cas, "I'll back later. Don't wait up!" 

Cas sighs when he hears the kitchen door slam and shakes his head, "No way she will be back till morning."

 

Dean came racing through the living room of his apartment, someone was desperately beating on his front door, "Alright, alright. Relax." He swings the door open, "Dude what is you-" His mouth falls open when he sees Emerson standing there. "What, what are you doing here? I thought I was picking you up?" 

She pushes past him into his apartment and tosses her purse on the couch. "Yeah, about that. I am not sure what the hell you are doing. I mean why the hell are you asking me out? Why do you keep my picture, hm? Why do you keep pulling me back in every time I think I am about to get over you?" She crosses her arms so he cant see her hands shaking. 

Dean closes the door, sighing. "I was going to take you out and try to say some chick-flick shit, but you know I am not good at this and you were never patient when I tried to do that romantic crap." He swallows hard and closes his eyes, trying to find the right words. " I just, I just needed to be alone with you and clear the air."

She waves her hand at him to get him to stop talking, willing her voice to not shake as she spoke, "Don't. Don't tell me your sorry for Lisa and sorry for breaking my heart. I don't want to hear that from you." She closes the gap between them. "You never use to have a hard time saying chick-flick sh-" Before she could finish her thought his lips were on hers and just like that nothing else mattered. Nothing but those perfect lips. Nothing but them and this moment. Whatever she had came to say was a distant memory. Hell she was lucky she remembered her middle name when their lips finally parted. 

It was so quiet they could the small hand on the clock in his kitchen ticking with each second that passed. He takes a deep breath to steady his nerve but his voice still cracks when he finally speaks, "Nothing ever happened with Lisa all those years ago." He scoffs, "Shit, nothing happened with her even after you left. I just, I thought you would be better off without me." His eyes locked with hers, hands cupping her cheeks still. "You're so much better than me and you were talking about staying here after you graduate, giving up everything to work at our shitty town paper! All because of me. Because you wanted to be near me? No, I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't be the thing that held you back." Emerson screws her eyes shut at his omission. She could feel the anger building in her the more he carried on until she couldn't take it anymore and just exploded on him. 

"Dean...You are such an idiot!" She shoves his chest, pushing him off of her. "You don't get to make choices like that for me, Dean! You don't get to make decisions that completely ruin my life because you think it's best. Newsflash, I get a say in my own life!" She grabs her purse from the couch and heads towards the door behind him. "You ruined everything because you were scared and it's bullshit." 

Dean grabs her arm, spinning her around, "Wait, Em. Just listen to me. Please." She was leaving and he was scared shitless. He couldn't let her just walks out. Not like he did last time.

She yanks her arm away from his hold and glares up at him. "Fine, I'll listen. Tell me why Lisa? You knew how much she bugged me. She always all over you. Always. Every time you had a game she was up your ass, trying to make me jealous. You knew how much she bugged me and how many times we fought over her." The realization finally came over, "That was why wasn't it, because she bugged me and I would be too mad to question it." She steps closer to him, smirking. This new information was only making her angrier, "Why don't you just go date her now? I bet she would jump at the chance to be with you. She's always been head over heels for you and now I am not in the way anymore."

He lets out a dry laugh, "Honestly, I wish that I could fall for her. It would make things so much easier. I wouldn't care that you're gone." He brings his hand up over his heart, never breaking his gaze with her as he continued, "I wouldn't have this friggin' hole in my chest because you're not in my life and the thought of you with someone else would eat me up inside." He steps towards her, "Believe me I tried to fall for her when you left. I tried so hard, but she can't compare to you and it really isn't her fault. You're still the only thing that really feels like home." He shrugs letting his hands fall to his sides in defeat, "It's only ever been you, Em." She takes a deep breath and just like that she done for. 

She throws her arms around his neck sliding her hands into his hair, crashing their lips together. As quickly as their lips met was just how fast Dean had her pinned against the living room wall. It knocked what little breath she had left right out of her. He nipped at her bottom lips gently causing a small whimper to leave her lips. He grin, mumbling into their kiss, "I missed that sound." Before she could protest he pulled back, leaving her panting against the wall. His eyes searched hers asking her an unspoken question he was too scared to openly voice. If she didn't want this he would let go of her and let her leave right now. He would never force her to do anything she didn't want to, but she met his gaze and nodded. There wasn't a hint of uncertainty behind her pretty blue eyes and that was all he needed. 

He slides his hands down her sides, over her the back of her jeans giving her ass a quick squeeze, which caused her let out a small yelp. He grins and winks at her before sliding his hands under her butt and lifting her up, her legs to wrap around his waist immediately. He walked back to his bedroom and kicked the door shut. Dinner was going to have to wait. Maybe they could try again for breakfast.

 

Emerson opens her eyes to the sun shining in through the window in Dean's bedroom, she quickly turns her face into Dean's bare chest, hiding from the morning sunshine. She pulls the sheet over them and climbs over him, trailing soft kissing down his neck and over his chest. 

Dean's arms wrap around her, running his large hand up and down her naked back,"Mornin' sweetheart." The raspy tone in his voice makes her smile against his chest.

"Mmm, It's been too long since I've heard that sound." She crawls up him so they are nose to nose. "Morning." She kisses him softly.

He grins against her lips and quickly flips her onto her back, deepening their kiss for a moment before placing a soft kiss to the tip of her nose, "So, in the morning light, how, uh, how are you feeling about...what happened?" His hands resting on the sides of her face, eyes searching her for any signs. He was searching for any sign that she regretted what happened last night. Just the thought made him want to puke. There was no way he could get her back just to go through losing her all over again. He wasn't going to fuck this up again, if she was just willing to let him prove that to her. 

She saw every panicked thought that was going through his mind and for some reason it made her grin, "Dean." She brings her hands up to sides of his face. "You've had me since I was fifteen, baby. I don't regret last night. I...I don't know what that means for us, but-" Dean cut her off with a swift kiss, mumbling against her lips, "I know, I know."

He leans his forehead against hers closing his eyes, "I just need to know there is a chance for there to be an 'us' again. I can't lose you again..." She places her fingers over his mouth, smiling. "There's always been an us, Dean. Always."

He smiles and rolls back onto his back pulling her with him, placing a kiss on the top of her head. That was all he needed to hear. Just that there was a chance he could make this right. They still had a lot to work through. He knew she didn't trust him and they had to work through that, but the more immediate issue was New York. Cas said she was leaving for New York and there was no way he could compete with her dream job and New York. Jesus, he was just a small town mechanic. He wraps his arms around her and chuckles at the sleepy voice mentioning him making her pancakes. Panicking about New York could wait, his girl wanted pancakes and he wasn't about to tell her no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Supernatural or their characters. This is just for fun. Same ol' same ol'.


	8. Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pancakes and Dean. Perfect Saturday Morning, but things can only stay perfect for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! Had some family medical drama and then the holidays kind of snuck up on me. Should have chapter nine up tomorrow, but no promises. We will see how my shopping goes tomorrow. Yes, I still have shopping to do. 
> 
> Oh and go check out my One Shot 'Marry me'. Just posted it and I basically pictured these two dorks the entire time I wrote it. I can ship my own stuff, right? That's totally a thing.

_God. Why was he like this? It's just not fair._

Em sat at the bar in Dean's small apartment kitchen watching him stir pancake batter in nothing but his black and grey flannel sweatpants and of course he looked amazing while he did it. He made everything look amazing. It was so annoying. Here she was, this hot mess that had always struggled to fit in during high school, regardless of who she dated, and while she wasn't as socially awkward as her twin she was clumsy, dorky and not nearly as graceful as the man standing in front of her. 

"Can you not look perfect all the time? It's really annoying." She pouts, "Do you know how hard it is to have you for an ex? It's unfair, Dean." 

She had to be out of her mind. Dean turns to look at her baffled, spatula in hand to find her bottom lip out as far as it can go. He drops his head, busting out laughing. "I think we both know I am far from perfect. You know that better than anyone. 

She rolls her eyes, "That's not the point, Dean. You always look like you have it all together. You make flipping pancakes look graceful. It's annoying." She huffs, "Here I am, I can barely walk without tripping and I can't flip pancakes for anything." She sighs, "Admit it, you're perfect." 

He sets the spatula down and leans over the counter, "Sweetheart, did you ever stop to think that I feel the same way about you?" He leans forward and planting a chaste kiss on her lips. "Do you know how hard it is to have a beautiful, funny, adorable, smart- Did I mention stunning?" He grins, "A perfect, stunning ex-girlfriend that you're still in love with? Why do you think I stayed away? I mean besides the whole Cas wanting to kill me thing, It was too hard to know I couldn't have you, to know I couldn't touch you anymore." He kisses her forehead and heads back to the stove. "Just sayin' Sweetheart." 

It took a minute for her to clear the fog that Winchester charm created in her brain. It's like they were all born with this unnatural ability to charm any woman out of everything they owned. They all had 'the' charm, but they had their own way of using it. She finally narrows her eyes and mumbles,"Not good at the romantic crap my ass."

He barks out a laugh and passes her a plate of pancakes. "Here, I think you're getting hangry."

He really did make the best pancakes. Emerson takes a bite of the pancake he just handed and closes her eyes, moaning softly. 

"You know you don't have to eat it right when I hand it to you, you can put syrup on it." He grins, "I am not sure if I should be jealous of that moan either."

She glares at him and stuffs another bite in her mouth, "Shut up. I haven't had your pancakes in four years and they don't need syrup." 

Dean flips the last pancakes onto his plate, turns the stove off and walks around the bar to sit down next to her, "If you say so." He glances at her curled up in the bar stool next to him wearing nothing but his old AC/DC shirt, "Damn, that shirt looks a hell of a lot better on you." He leans over and kisses her head. He couldn't get enough of touching and kissing her. He had spent the last 1,460 days unable to touch her and he was making up for it.

"Shut up, Winchester and eat your food." Her cheeks were as bright as two tomatoes, causing a huge grin on Dean's face as he shoves a bite of pancake into his mouth. 

They spent the day laying around, laughing and watching movies. If anyone saw them from the outside they would never know all the heartbreak they had been through together, but they had always been able to fall into each other like that. Em always claimed it was because they were Soul Mates and that's just what Soul Mates did. Dean would scoff and brush it off like he was too to believe in something as sappy as Soul Mates, but the truth was he knew she was right. Two Star Wars flicks, a Rom Com, the first episode into season one of Game of Thrones, and two pizzas made up for the best day either one of them have had in years. Sadly, it was coming to an end. It was almost dinner time and Cas would be wondering where she was. She was still shocked he hadn't showed up and beat the door down when she didn't come home, but he didn't even call. There perfect day was coming to an end and they had to face their reality. It was time to be grown-ups and get down to it. 

Em leans her head back on his shoulder, chewing her bottom lip as she watched him watch Ned Stark talking to someone who seemed important. She really couldn't follow this story line at all. She clears her throat, "So, we should talk about last night, Dean." 

He had been dreading this conversation. Sure, there was a slight chance she could say she loved him, she was dropping New York and everything could pick up where they left off. It was more likely she was going to say she couldn't trust him and he couldn't handle that, but he maned up and nodded, "Yeah, I guess it's that time." He turns the television off and tosses the remote on the couch, waiting for her to go first.

She traces the lines on inside of his palm, trying to calm him. His nerves were radiating off of him. "What do you want? I know what I want. I just..." She looks up at him from where she was curled in his lap. "We can't go back, Dean. It's been too long. So, do we try to move forward or..." She couldn't even say it. 

He frowns, "I thought it was pretty obvious what I want, Em. I want you. In whatever way I can have you. Whatever you want I'll do it. You want to go slow? Okay, I can do slow." He leans his forehead against hers. 'Please, just give me a chance. Don't just run. I know you're scared and shit I am too, but I swear nothing like that will ever happen agai-" Em leans up kissing him. "Stop dean. I am scared. I am scared you're going to get scared and bolt on me again. Or come up with some stupid reason to leave me," She kisses him again, "I've only ever been yours. I just need to know you're for sure and you won't ever lie to me again. If you get scared you have to talk to me, but I can't handle you lying to me and pushing me away again." 

He nods frantically, "Of course. I just...What about New York?" He mentally curses himself for that, she didn't tell him that. Cas did. Awesome. 

She frowns, looking completely dumbfounded. "How do you know about New York? It's not even for sure. I have a final interview with an online magazine in August." 

He watched her confusion as she tried to piece together how he knew that. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to lie about that, but he was worried if he said Cas helped him she would get mad and leave. He sighs, "I, uh, Charlie told me. I guess Cas mentioned it to her." He felt like a complete dick. Here he was promising not to lie to her again and he turns around and does just that, "You'll get it. Trust me." He wraps his arms around her tightly. "Let's just take it slow and day by day, okay? We don't have to rush this. I've got time." 

"That sounds good to me, Dee," she smiles and nuzzles her face into his neck. 

He clears his throat,"So, I wanted to ask you...If you would want to come to dinner next weekend at my parents? Sam is bringing Jess home for a week and then staying the summer so I thought you might want to come with me. Mom would love it. I'm pretty sure she likes you more than me." He laughs. They both know that was anything but true. 

Em laughs nervously,"are you sure? I just don't want to make things awkward for you. If they ask questions about us..." She looks down at her hands in her lap, fiddling with Dean's shirt. She use to love spending time with his family, but she was nervous. What if they no longer liked her? They were always nice to her but that could have just been for show. Maybe they don't want their son back with his high school girlfriend.

He grabs her hands and brings them to his lips placing a soft kiss on her fingers, "Ill just tell them the truth. You're my Em. Always have been." It was that simple. He would just tell them. Em grinned and shook her head at his nonchalant attitude," When can I say no to you, Dean?" 

"Never, this is how I plan to get you watch the entire Game of Thrones series before next weekend!" He grabs the remote and hits play causing Em to groan dramatically and drop her head back onto his shoulder. This was going to be a long week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again y'all....
> 
> I don't own Supernatural or their characters.
> 
> **Un-edited, just a quick proof. Mistakes are all mine. ;-)


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